ENCOURAGING WORDS FOR THE LAYERS OF LETTING GO

As I shared at my local women's retreat about the layers in my struggles with empty nesting, little did I realize I was about to encounter another layer. A big layer.

I shared these words: 'I know God has been with me in the past so I can trust my future to Him as I begin a new layer of letting go—it’s always in layers—just like peeling an onion. I think I have it figured out and then there is another layer to deal with.'

How do we handle the stress of our adult sons and daughters when they come to us with problems of their own choices or the circumstances that life brings to all? I was searching for answers when I came across this eloquent, encouraging paragraph that describes more 'layers of letting go' and feel this is the answer that I can peacefully live with for now.

"Over several years,(of not getting relief from an adult daughter's problems) a beautiful detachment grew in their souls, not the detachment of not caring, but the detachment of gentleness. They would continue to believe that Jesus was with them in this darkness that seemed to have no coming dawn. All their fear, anger, love, and hurt they would give to God. They would learn as the writer of Lamentations advised, to wait in silence." Sally Breedlove, Choosing Rest

Although this is incredibly difficult, I will choose daily to live with more 'layers of letting go' and let God do His work in all of our lives.

My Encouragement

I had an extremely busy week, doing lots of encouraging with my two beautiful daughters. Andrea lives in Seattle and was home for a wedding and Kara lives in Indianapolis. By an amazing turn of events, Andrea got to work in Indy so I went down to spend the day with both of them. That does not happen often in my world!

We had a lovely day shopping and doing lots of catching up talking about all kinds of topics. I believe it was a special gift from God. Thanks and praise to Him!

It was not always easy to hear the comments they had to say about me. I tried to be vulnerable and stay open to some of their criticisms, because I want to always be learning and growing in my own life. I did tell them, several times, that I am not the same person I was when they were living in my house. Hopefully things have changed for all of us. The great news is that I discovered I not only love my daughters, I really like them! They are wonderful, caring individuals and I think their husbands are very lucky guys.

The most important lesson I learned is to talk less and pray more! It's not so much about me being right and them being wrong or the other way around, but about learning new ways of relating to each other. They live away from our home town and are actually doing a great job living life without me.

Here is a prayer from Ken Gire that hangs right above my desk and sustains me every single one of my empty nest days.

"My children are not the work of my hands. My hands are not the hands that hold them, not the hands that mold them, not the hands that work all things together in their lives for good. They are the work of God's hands. I am merely a tool in those hands, a tool He has used in some way, for a short time to shape them. Give me the strength to open my hands, not knowing what all You want me to give, knowing only that it is to Your hands I give it. Help me to love those hands more than I love whatever it is I hold in mine."