ENCOURAGING YOURSELF FIRST OF ALL

Caterina S. Tudor, Ph.D.Professional Counselor in the State of Colorado, teaches the wellness of encouragement. She believes encouragement de-stresses and creates a positive atmosphere around the encourager. She says it is about “speaking life” to self and others. It starts with you and then cycles around to the next person and the next.

I submit that only when you know how to encourage yourself can you really encourage another.

To encourage yourself, act like a good parent or coach toward yourself. Identify your abilities and strong points. Acknowledge any progress you make. Remind yourself that mistakes are learning opportunities. Know how to nurture and rejuvenate yourself. It’s like a bank—the deposits and withdrawals have to balance each other.You can’t give away what’s not there.

It takes work, but it is worth it.

THE BEAUTY OF ENCOURAGEMENT

Many want to impress, but few want to inspire or encourage. I love how Constance Rhodes puts it, “The trouble with seeking to impress is that it requires so little of our heart and soul. But to inspire and encourage…that must be the greatest of accomplishments, for encouraging others allows us to be a part of something so much bigger than ourselves.”

BE ENCOURAGED!

Whatever you are facing today, BE ENCOURAGED!

While I don't know what each of you are going through at this time, I am fully aware that every other person in life is dealing with something that is extremely important and urgent to them. It could be hurting family or friend relationships, job or financial worries, or even something that you cannot name. Maybe you see things going on in our country that depress and discourage you. There is just a nagging sense inside that all is not well.

I encourage you to not cave into those feelings. God has a bigger and much better plan than all our worries, and He asks us to keep our focus on Him. This is what I ask for and hope to receive on my journey. It does take intentional discipline; talking to your self, quoting scripture and not letting the negative pull you down. Renew and refocus your mind.

Because God knows every single detail about my life and your life He knows exactly what is going to happen to me and you. He knows what the future will bring and He promises to care for us just as much as He does the birds. “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Seek first His kingdom and all these things will be given to you as well.” (KG paraphrase Matt 6:25-34)

I believe it. I hope you will too. Be encouraged and find peace in your life today.

HOPEFUL ENCOURAGEMENT

I am blessed in alot of ways. I have food whenever I want it, clean water, a good job, wonderful home and family. Some of my dreams have come true. But I have known pain and frustration because many plans have been foiled even by my own mistakes.

People have disappointed me--strangers, friends and those I love most. Possessions did not bring peace of mind. Positions left me bothered and wanting more. Life is intense, precarious at times. What happens to us when our hearts and hopes are crushed. What or whom can we count on?

God is true and His word is truth. But even then there are very few outcomes we can put our faith in.

According to Paul, the hard things in life give us opportunity to seek out things that matter and make the right choices in the midst of trouble. The only thing that matters and the only truth we can count on for eternity is God and His never-ending love for us.

"Hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:5

POWERFUL ENCOURAGING WORDS

I have found a powerful but simple group of phrases that never fail me in understanding and encouraging people. The effect these words have on loved ones and friends is profound.

It takes a genuine attitude to reach out with encouraging words. Try them and see for yourself the difference you can make!

“THANK YOU” Words of gratitude mean recognition of the good another has done to you or for you—simple or deserving of a lifetime of devotion
“I LOVE YOU” We need to hear words of love expressed out loud. The story of the insensitive husband who said, “Of course I love you and if I change my mind, you’ll be the first to know!” Telling a child ten times I love you might not be powerful enough to overcome yelling at them once.
“WHAT DO YOU NEED?” Being conscious that those around you have needs that you can help them with is powerful.
“I’M SORRY” Indispensable to any person who wishes to heal the hurt that they may have caused—very hard for us to say. We need to admit we have done something wrong which can be very humbling.

Our thoughts take us to our words, so work hard to learn this new language of positive thoughts and words. It takes 21 days for new habits to form and words repeated often enough become truth in our hearts. So start believing encouraging, affirming words; carry positive phrases with you on a card, tape them to the mirror and review them in the car and as you wait in line. You will be amazed at the difference this makes in your attitude and how that translates to others.

ENCOURAGING WORDS FROM LISTENING TO LOVE

“Since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be destroyed, let us be thankful and please God by worshiping him with holy fear and awe. For our God is a consuming fire. Hebrews 12:18

There is always something to be cleared away in our lives. It’s not that the things we desire are bad; it’s the way we cling to them as though they were life itself that the fire is after. If I don’t have some kind of confidence that Jesus is after more of me, more with me, as we walk through the inferno together, I could easily despair.

Love wants our release not our destruction. And we must remember that eternal things can never be destroyed, even by the hottest flames. My hearts first question, “Is it really you, Jesus?” surfaces quickly whenever my comfort, plans, or self-crafted security are singed.

I must ask this question whether the match was struck by my own foolishness, by the Enemy’s cruel attempts to scorch my heart, or by someone else’s choices. My heart’s question--could the precious things blazing around me possibly be under the watchful gaze of a loving God?
Jan Meyers

SPRING ENCOURAGEMENT-NEW LIFE AGAIN

It sure has been a "bright" weekend with all this sunshine! I hope we have many more days like we've been experiencing. It is a great reminder that all seasons last only for a time.

We can have hope that when we are in the midst of winter and when life is a little stagnant and difficult to withstand, spring is just around the corner. Spring is full of excitement as you watch things that have withered and died find new life. I think I have actually seen buds on a tree just outside my kitchen window!

How true for our spiritual lives! We can be excited that God wants us to experience new growth as we come out of our time of trials and sufferings. He wants us to re-experience the wonders of His mighty love and grace time and time again.

It is beautiful isn't it?

Encouraging words from my friend. Thank you Sara Culp. You make a difference in my life and lots of others too! God will honor your faith.

ENCOURAGING WORDS FOR THE LAYERS OF LETTING GO

As I shared at my local women's retreat about the layers in my struggles with empty nesting, little did I realize I was about to encounter another layer. A big layer.

I shared these words: 'I know God has been with me in the past so I can trust my future to Him as I begin a new layer of letting go—it’s always in layers—just like peeling an onion. I think I have it figured out and then there is another layer to deal with.'

How do we handle the stress of our adult sons and daughters when they come to us with problems of their own choices or the circumstances that life brings to all? I was searching for answers when I came across this eloquent, encouraging paragraph that describes more 'layers of letting go' and feel this is the answer that I can peacefully live with for now.

"Over several years,(of not getting relief from an adult daughter's problems) a beautiful detachment grew in their souls, not the detachment of not caring, but the detachment of gentleness. They would continue to believe that Jesus was with them in this darkness that seemed to have no coming dawn. All their fear, anger, love, and hurt they would give to God. They would learn as the writer of Lamentations advised, to wait in silence." Sally Breedlove, Choosing Rest

Although this is incredibly difficult, I will choose daily to live with more 'layers of letting go' and let God do His work in all of our lives.

GOD'S ENCOURAGING WORDS

I am doing a study by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and came across some statements from her book, Lies Women Believe. It's excellent by the way and I highly recommend it.

Here are some comments in random order that speak truth and made an impact on how to encourage people for me.

"People around us who are hurting and needy don't need to hear our opinions and suggestions. They need to hear what God says. The truth is, the Word of God is alive and powerful; it is medicine for troubled hearts and peace for plagued minds. It is a lamp for our feet and a light for our path. (Psalms 119:105) Whatever our need, whatever our circumstances, the Word of God is sufficient to meet that need. And is sufficient to meet the needs of those we love."

Great advice for hurting friends and family. I could not have said it better!

NO ENCOURAGING WORDS FOR SUFFERING

Someone challenged my blog last week. They said I could have said more about words not being enough while encountering a suffering friend. I am reading an intriguing book by Rob Bell called Velvet Elvis. He had some interesting words that expressed exactly what I was trying to say.

"Suffering is a place where cliches don't work and words often fail. I was at lunch last week with a friend who is in the midst of some difficult days, and I don't have any answers. I just don't. I can't fix it for him. I've tried. And we sat there and talked and ate, and I let him know that I'm in it with him. It isn't very pretty and it isn't very fun, but when we join each other in the pain and confusion, God is there. Sometimes it means we sit in silence for a while, not knowing what to say. And it is in our suffering together that we find out we are not alone. We find out who really loves us. We find out that with these people around us, we can make it through anything. And that gives us something to celebrate."

Amazing words. That's exactly what I was trying to say.

WRONG ABOUT ENCOURAGING WORDS

I am wrong about encouraging words. I thought everything could be solved with encouraging words. I thought you could say something comforting no matter what. Now I'm not so sure that is true.

Sometimes there are no words to ease the pain. Sometimes life is that unfair.

A friend of mine lost her husband on a Sunday afternoon. They have five children. One minute he said he didn't feel good and the next they are calling 911.

Another friend just buried her newborn niece. She said the anguish in the parents eyes was unbearable.

Sometimes there are no words.

This is what it means to be held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.

This is what it means to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held.
Natalie Grant
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3W1CEppIPQk

Sometimes that is the only way. Just to sit silently in the present moment. Entering into the ache with your loved one.

Encouraging words will come later.

DAILY ENCOURAGEMENT

How many encouraging words do you need to hear every day? Is one encouragement card or telephone call or even a weekend seminar that has motivating inspiring words enough to keep you challenged and in a positive frame of mind?

Of course it is not. Can you eat once and never again? How about cleaning your house or your body? To think you can receive all you need for a lifetime from one encouraging encounter or one article or phone call is unrealistic. We need encouragement daily.

Someone once said, 'it takes seven words of encouragement to balance out one word of discouragement.' I've found that to be true in my own life. When someone close criticizes me I am usually crushed, heartbroken and beg for at least one upbeat comment. I know I need to be encouraged regularly and to be around others who are encouragers.

To keep yourself encouraged, inspired, motivated enough to be able to pass it along to others you must receive encouragement on a regular basis. You must feed your mind and soul positive stuff to keep it going in the right direction. Positive input equals positive output.

Check out howtoencourage.com for ideas, tips and benefits of an encouraging lifestyle. Never underestimate the power of positive words in a life.